Hej and thanks for checkibg in. And a special thanks to you who left me the comment on writing about 7positive things and the future. Im sorry if i have aounded negative sometimes but im just straight out honest no censure i just write the truth as i know it and my life has been far from easy and still is difficult as fuck. But do i sit and cry no i continue to stand up and fight for a life thata fulfilling a life im worth of. The life that im ment to live. Because my life will jot end in a homeless shelter with theese bitches that only would try to steel my things if i died. Ice cold junkies. I take drugs but im not a junkie. I dont steel from private persons. I dont do anything that hurts anyone else. I always shower. Clean and do what im supposed to do always have done. Not like theese that get money the first like 1500 dollars and the next day they are gone and þhey need to go out and ateel meat to sell to restaurants to get their fix. I could never live like that. I need to always have money and have my shit together. If i work i dont take seigs i stop but theese people cant stop even if they’re children were taken from them. Like three of four of my neighbors and they sont even have the energy to care about it because they have given up. They will never become anything and i thought i was hopeless one time. i thought i never would be able to live a normal good life but i proved every motherfucker wrong. I have danced in clubs 6 years and making loads of cash. i have savings of a quarter million i have money every day to do what i want. But it didnt come free nothing does. But i look at it like this. Everything i been threw has led me to thia point. Were i have a house in sweden my dream house. A wonderful dog. Money beauty and a creative mind always working on new plans. Bow im goingbto los Angeles now its for real i got my visa approved i will book the ticketa soon and hope i get the job i will audition for. if not. i will have a great vacation meet a lot of new people and maybe even a man that can swipe my feet away. I have aeen so many amerian movies. You go on dates. Here its like you want to come home to me amd fuck? Maybe on your birthday you get a dinner. No one put the time in to get the women to fall they just pick them up and fuck them. Weddings hmmm people hardly get marries here no more. Many women support their man or gets used by them. Normally both people work in a relationship. And are equal. But i love the dream of a guy spoiling me asking me out for dinner not expecting anymore than a kiss. Not to have the preaaure on you. And to be taken care of like i would love to be a Hollywood housewife i would take care of my man if he took care of me i promise. blowjobse every morning sex in the night. Always look sexy and naughty for him to throw me.in his friensa faces hehe. Im a addict of the romantic movies were the ppor girl meets a man at a stripclub and he falls innlove and savea her from the work giving her everything she dreamed of . A sexy man that knows how to treat a women but also how to fuck her. If i met the man in my dreams i would consider staying in los Angeles i mean who wouldnt. And have this dream get the engagement ring in a romantic way get a nice wedding dress, have a beautiful wedding and a naughty trip after the wedding. Haha its so unrèal that it actually might happen if i just belive in my self and fight for what i want i know i will get there. And right now all my hopes and dreams are in Los Angeles. I think its my destiny and that the city will charm me so much i wouldn’t be able to leave. I will get a job as a dancer or model. And i will look for a place . A place that would be my own in la the city of dreams. It is souch a far out thing to think about that it feels like im dreaming or have seen to many movies. but no i have the visa and soon the ticket so the dream of a lifetime will be fulfilled. I will enjoy every minute in the sun i will appreciate every minute every day and do my best to be able to stay. To get away from it all and live happily ever after. Even the strip job is a dream. To work in a xlub in Los Angeles thats insane i just want to jump and scream thinking about it. Im so so happy and this winter i will be warm in the sun. And i will just live on that until the day comes because it makes everything ok. It makes it worth all the trouble. Its like getting everything you ever wished. Its so amazing i dont know how to explain but im just so fucking happy nothing will come in the way i swear. I will go there no matter what. And it will be amazing. I will dance my ass of for the tips i will be so positive and happy and joyfuk to be with i will make a lot of money. Because who wants to be with a unhappy stripper doing it for survive not liking it when you can be with someone that loves dancing and meeting people go on stage make a kick ass showpop Champaign living the fucking dream. I will make sure no one forgets my name wherever I go. Im the one and only nikki derp. Unstoppable and unbearable :p
No im joking im fucking just so so happy i just babbling. Sorry. But there is a positive thing a really positive thing a life chager its the point everything comes down to. Me moving to the city of my dreams meeting my dream man. U lala nikki likes
so fuck the rest i have the best inbfront of me i just dont know it yet. Thank u for everything. I love you all!!!!