Hey sorry for being gone for so long its just so much you know trying to stay clean living with the most fucked up people in the city in the most hardcore environment in the COUNTRY. you either eat ir get eaten here. And today some bitch started something i almost finished but a friend a Real friend came in and spoke with me and i fall down anx and became myself again. I don’t want to be that person that stabs you to get reapect but i sure as fuck will because mothing can break me. Nithing cam be done to me thats already havent been done. I dont fear anything thats make me fucking dangerous because its sick people here we don’t talk about if i would continue fighting we would argue no. One of of would end up in the hospital and one in jail. And i sure as fuck was going to take that bitch of a bitch down. And my adrenaline is still pumping because the situation was built up to a fight and it was a fine fine line thanks to my friend thats obviously this girls best friend but she is not being my friend just because they’re best friends thank god for that because when i hit her with the punchline that would kick her off amina thats her name told me.to stop and be quiet and told nikki the other girl to stop as well and for her i respekt it but if ahe wouldn’t be there i would have take my spray right next to me stand up take my knife spray her in the face and stabb her in the chest that was my plan so sorry if i didnt go live that time and sorry for loosing my temper. Because I want to be a role model a good girl.not the one i used to be giving people needles with deadly diseases on acting i giving a fix. No i have enough on my conscience and it needs to stop. But if i put my guard down and act like the bigger person it will be taken as weakness and is i gave up because I am scared and are hiding and i can not have that because then they will think a it worked we an just start fucking with her and she will hide in her room. No cant do need to stand up for myself like i done my whole life without backup i have survived the street and so much sick stuff u cant believe
So yea there is a person in menthat would stabb this girl without thinking twice. But i rather wish we were feiends instead and we could laugh make food like before. You know. I love that friendship love warmth all of it but i aint getting it here. But i dont need to hurt anyone she just needs to stop pushing on my mervs otherwise I will go psycho on her ass. And thats not because i think its cool or anything its because i respect myself and i will fight til i die i will never give up thats the problem and i would hurt her bad probably and het a lot of fucking problems i dont want m im in a good place and want ro stay there but if i cant be left alone and dont show no example i will get eaten for breakfast every day here. And i cant have that. My mom was ice cold fighter my father is a legionnaire the hardest military you can be. So i have bones in my body and i will blead to death beforeni let anyone step even a little bit over me. I swear. Fuxk i have so much adrenaline i cant sleep now. I am totally pupils enormous amd shaky because i standed ready to stabb her long time then her friend came so i got a lot of adrenaline in me right now. I need to calm done. And fighting is not cool is a necessary evil living with the hardest criminals and drug addicts in the COUNTRY. so please dont take me wrong. I love you all and sorry for everything..