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Looking for a new house and an appartment in Malmø
Because the house is far away and expensive we are there maybe 5 days a month for 8000kr its expencive. And an appartment in Malmø I want so I can start to work again it will be cheaper then hotell in the long run. I mean i can just go for one night and make …
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puh what a day
I have done so much today its crazy i started work again on sexlir.dk and started to talk to some old customers see if i can make some cashing cashing i need it. I know i can i just dont know how with my ex behind me all the time im never alone but maybe …
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Hej and sorry
ich he didnt, he knew my stage name, thats how sad it was. So finally he fell asleep a parked the car a bit from my house, got the fuck out of the car ran as fast as i can opened the door downstairs took the elevator open the door upstate and then the door to my flat. Fuck i got AWAY. He can never come in. So i needed to wIL TO TAKE THE DOG OUT til i new he was gone. After that night i didn’t work for a while because he said if u continue working there i kill you and blow the whole fucking cub up. So the cub was fully understanding. It was a good working place, i iss it. I cant said i had a boring life at least working there. I need to start work again i go crazy. I need to go la i have ordered new shoe on johns card oops…. but i pay him back it was just that it was the last card i used o it was programmed in. But they are hot, see threw high heels under knee, totally see threw really high suuper high. Mmmhhh love it. Tomorrow we going to hotel and will sleep one night there it will be nice get away for a wile. I manage to make 450kr now on ritalin and hasch. But im going to malmo meet sme cu
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the true side of people shows when there weaknesses come, money,
Hey i sleep in sundholmen tonight again, so i got like 20 ritalin today and the last two days is the only 2 days since moving in i havent had hasch, and i asked people but got nothing, but when i have EVERY SINGLE DAY I MAKE SURE EVERYONE HAS THEIR KLUMP TO BED, I …
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Hej and sorry
Hey all i want to say sorry i been so bad at putting out new posts, but my computer is broken and im broke this month so cant afford to fix it, cant afford shit this month and the shoes i ordered came to the wrong shop so they are sent back now with no refund and i dont know when i have money for that again its a big chaos, i dont really know were to go or what to do its just keep hanging on and keep the eye on the prize although it might take a little longer time, because im broke as, and its going to get better when i dont pay 6000 for an apartment i havent lived in since december, its 6000 out of 9000 thats to much. So in december will it start to get better when im no longer paying for it.. I hope u are patient i will ofcourse asap come up with new fucked up posts and photos n videos. Id like to know what u like, dont like like to see more of and so on. Cuz i have no idea im lost in translation haha but its cool though because then im just being myself and if people like that that’s a kick ass kick hehe… Im sitting in sundholmen without joint paper without food and drink im going crazy and my bitch ass neighbour that has my heater and speakers boyfriend (the same guy i hocked up with that i made a video for hehe) came out from jail today so shes not home ofcourse shes getting dick and lots of it, little jalouse hehe. but what can i do, i can go the the crazy ass neighbour that started to cry because the ritalin costed 10crowns more then she wanted and “was disappointed in me” and we haven’t really talked since then. But a brive is always a good thing she can get a ritalin and i can get a joint paper and get high on my own supply watching funny shit on netflix or something, i wanna feel free do what i want to without al this limitations do this do that sit still move ahhhhhhh my man making me crazy with his obsession to control everything every little move. But hey hey i got to borrow a computer and write to all yall and im happy for that and la is not out of the question i just need to order shoes again…. Whaaaaoouuuu but life is a bitch so what should i expect that i can pay for a fucking expensive shoes and get them oh no thats to much to ask, i need to fightfor everything i swear. But i think to go to the shop tomorrow and hope they haven’t send them back in that case i need to contact the sellers but they dont have any info at all on their page and the shoes are not even from them so its no refund fuckkkkkk!!! What shall i do it was my ticket to LA. But John says he have saved some of my stripper shoes i just need to hope for that or i order new ones next month. Fucking annoying they were so nice also. Man im sad. But what can you do cry over spild milk hell no… Im gona work harder and im going to get there. Nothing can stop me ohhh yeaaahh,,, my neighbour can also make braids and she said to new year my heair will be long enough to be able to make extensions so we will make my hair then thats cool.
Sweat but psycho is playing and i love it it feels like me in that song i swear i love it “run dont walk away” “shes psycho a little bit psycho”
I think i’ve become a psychopath from being a sociopath its gets worse and worse, im ice fucking cold right now. I would beat a class full off people because i dont get frighten scared dont fear pain and dont give a shit if i win or loose die or live i just know I will do EVERYTHING i possible could to make it as hard as fucking possible getting me down. Its about pride. I have had friends in different kind of areas gangs u know ets, gangsters criminals murderers all types, been kidnapped myself three times. So I know the type out there and that have learned me to survive in a fucked up way in a way were everything you do has an outcome to whether you will live or not, get home or not. One guy took me from the stripclub me and a friend were going together so all the sudden we were going to meet all the others some place and took his car but no no he drove out of the fucking city out in the country no busses neighbours nada. Fuck ok i play it out deink laugh haha take coke, light outside shes nine in the morning my dog been home alone since before work the day before. . Wow he was CRAZYYYYY, he raped me then he asked to marry me drove me to another house that was building new from scratch, that was going to be my house because he had a girlfriend so i couldnt live with him.. I should move in straight away, n remember when he put me in his friends car and drove to Helsingborg i cred and begged them to put me off in copenhagen but i saw the city in the review shit also. Sit in helsingborg he buys me roses introduces me as his girlfriend i was like what. On the way back i tried to open the car while driving to jump out while passing copenhagen, but it was locked, then the friend got paranoid, hey i cat have a girl here against her will this is to much man. Shut up and drive u just do as i say and the guy just kept quiet although me crying begging for help. No we ended up in the house again 24 hours past no sleep party all the time, so i manage to convince him i need to at least get my dog if i was going to live there, so he said lets pick it up, im to drunk u drive, Ok i got nervous no driver license custom etc, And on the way he told me he loved me i remember thinking, you dont even know my name, which he didnt, he knew my stage name, thats how sad it was. So finally he fell asleep a parked the car a bit from my house, got the fuck out of the car ran as fast as i can opened the door downstairs took the elevator open the door upstate and then the door to my flat. Fuck i got AWAY. He can never come in. So i needed to wIL TO TAKE THE DOG OUT til i new he was gone. After that night i didn’t work for a while because he said if u continue working there i kill you and blow the whole fucking cub up. So the cub was fully understanding. It was a good working place, i iss it. I cant said i had a boring life at least working there. I need to start work again i go crazy. I need to go la i have ordered new shoe on johns card oops…. but i pay him back it was just that it was the last card i used o it was programmed in. But they are hot, see threw high heels under knee, totally see threw really high suuper high. Mmmhhh love it. Tomorrow we going to hotel and will sleep one night there it will be nice get away for a wile. I manage to make 450kr now on ritalin and hasch. But im going to malmo meet sme customers must work man this is shit.. So i try go this week. Maybe tomorrow. Need to send some texts. Kisses
Im going to los Angeles in end of november!!!
Hej and thanks for checkibg in. And a special thanks to you who left me the comment on writing about 7positive things and the future. Im sorry if i have aounded negative sometimes but im just straight out honest no censure i just write the truth as i know it and my life has been far from easy and still is difficult as fuck. But do i sit and cry no i continue to stand up and fight for a life thata fulfilling a life im worth of. The life that im ment to live. Because my life will jot end in a homeless shelter with theese bitches that only would try to steel my things if i died. Ice cold junkies. I take drugs but im not a junkie. I dont steel from private persons. I dont do anything that hurts anyone else. I always shower. Clean and do what im supposed to do always have done. Not like theese that get money the first like 1500 dollars and the next day they are gone and þhey need to go out and ateel meat to sell to restaurants to get their fix. I could never live like that. I need to always have money and have my shit together. If i work i dont take seigs i stop but theese people cant stop even if they’re children were taken from them. Like three of four of my neighbors and they sont even have the energy to care about it because they have given up. They will never become anything and i thought i was hopeless one time. i thought i never would be able to live a normal good life but i proved every motherfucker wrong. I have danced in clubs 6 years and making loads of cash. i have savings of a quarter million i have money every day to do what i want. But it didnt come free nothing does. But i look at it like this. Everything i been threw has led me to thia point. Were i have a house in sweden my dream house. A wonderful dog. Money beauty and a creative mind always working on new plans. Bow im goingbto los Angeles now its for real i got my visa approved i will book the ticketa soon and hope i get the job i will audition for. if not. i will have a great vacation meet a lot of new people and maybe even a man that can swipe my feet away. I have aeen so many amerian movies. You go on dates. Here its like you want to come home to me amd fuck? Maybe on your birthday you get a dinner. No one put the time in to get the women to fall they just pick them up and fuck them. Weddings hmmm people hardly get marries here no more. Many women support their man or gets used by them. Normally both people work in a relationship. And are equal. But i love the dream of a guy spoiling me asking me out for dinner not expecting anymore than a kiss. Not to have the preaaure on you. And to be taken care of like i would love to be a Hollywood housewife i would take care of my man if he took care of me i promise. blowjobse every morning sex in the night. Always look sexy and naughty for him to throw me.in his friensa faces hehe. Im a addict of the romantic movies were the ppor girl meets a man at a stripclub and he falls innlove and savea her from the work giving her everything she dreamed of . A sexy man that knows how to treat a women but also how to fuck her. If i met the man in my dreams i would consider staying in los Angeles i mean who wouldnt. And have this dream get the engagement ring in a romantic way get a nice wedding dress, have a beautiful wedding and a naughty trip after the wedding. Haha its so unrèal that it actually might happen if i just belive in my self and fight for what i want i know i will get there. And right now all my hopes and dreams are in Los Angeles. I think its my destiny and that the city will charm me so much i wouldn’t be able to leave. I will get a job as a dancer or model. And i will look for a place . A place that would be my own in la the city of dreams. It is souch a far out thing to think about that it feels like im dreaming or have seen to many movies. but no i have the visa and soon the ticket so the dream of a lifetime will be fulfilled. I will enjoy every minute in the sun i will appreciate every minute every day and do my best to be able to stay. To get away from it all and live happily ever after. Even the strip job is a dream. To work in a xlub in Los Angeles thats insane i just want to jump and scream thinking about it. Im so so happy and this winter i will be warm in the sun. And i will just live on that until the day comes because it makes everything ok. It makes it worth all the trouble. Its like getting everything you ever wished. Its so amazing i dont know how to explain but im just so fucking happy nothing will come in the way i swear. I will go there no matter what. And it will be amazing. I will dance my ass of for the tips i will be so positive and happy and joyfuk to be with i will make a lot of money. Because who wants to be with a unhappy stripper doing it for survive not liking it when you can be with someone that loves dancing and meeting people go on stage make a kick ass showpop Champaign living the fucking dream. I will make sure no one forgets my name wherever I go. Im the one and only nikki derp. Unstoppable and unbearable :p
No im joking im fucking just so so happy i just babbling. Sorry. But there is a positive thing a really positive thing a life chager its the point everything comes down to. Me moving to the city of my dreams meeting my dream man. U lala nikki likes
so fuck the rest i have the best inbfront of me i just dont know it yet. Thank u for everything. I love you all!!!!
Coming soon
Hej
Hey sorry for being gone for so long its just so much you know trying to stay clean living with the most fucked up people in the city in the most hardcore environment in the COUNTRY. you either eat ir get eaten here. And today some bitch started something i almost finished but a friend a Real friend came in and spoke with me and i fall down anx and became myself again. I don’t want to be that person that stabs you to get reapect but i sure as fuck will because mothing can break me. Nithing cam be done to me thats already havent been done. I dont fear anything thats make me fucking dangerous because its sick people here we don’t talk about if i would continue fighting we would argue no. One of of would end up in the hospital and one in jail. And i sure as fuck was going to take that bitch of a bitch down. And my adrenaline is still pumping because the situation was built up to a fight and it was a fine fine line thanks to my friend thats obviously this girls best friend but she is not being my friend just because they’re best friends thank god for that because when i hit her with the punchline that would kick her off amina thats her name told me.to stop and be quiet and told nikki the other girl to stop as well and for her i respekt it but if ahe wouldn’t be there i would have take my spray right next to me stand up take my knife spray her in the face and stabb her in the chest that was my plan so sorry if i didnt go live that time and sorry for loosing my temper. Because I want to be a role model a good girl.not the one i used to be giving people needles with deadly diseases on acting i giving a fix. No i have enough on my conscience and it needs to stop. But if i put my guard down and act like the bigger person it will be taken as weakness and is i gave up because I am scared and are hiding and i can not have that because then they will think a it worked we an just start fucking with her and she will hide in her room. No cant do need to stand up for myself like i done my whole life without backup i have survived the street and so much sick stuff u cant believe
So yea there is a person in menthat would stabb this girl without thinking twice. But i rather wish we were feiends instead and we could laugh make food like before. You know. I love that friendship love warmth all of it but i aint getting it here. But i dont need to hurt anyone she just needs to stop pushing on my mervs otherwise I will go psycho on her ass. And thats not because i think its cool or anything its because i respect myself and i will fight til i die i will never give up thats the problem and i would hurt her bad probably and het a lot of fucking problems i dont want m im in a good place and want ro stay there but if i cant be left alone and dont show no example i will get eaten for breakfast every day here. And i cant have that. My mom was ice cold fighter my father is a legionnaire the hardest military you can be. So i have bones in my body and i will blead to death beforeni let anyone step even a little bit over me. I swear. Fuxk i have so much adrenaline i cant sleep now. I am totally pupils enormous amd shaky because i standed ready to stabb her long time then her friend came so i got a lot of adrenaline in me right now. I need to calm done. And fighting is not cool is a necessary evil living with the hardest criminals and drug addicts in the COUNTRY. so please dont take me wrong. I love you all and sorry for everything..
Im A Freak Im A Psycho Im A Girl Im A Junkie, Im A Pornstar Im A Whore
Ive heard it all but middelfinger to all off you pointing finger at me, look at your own pathetiv lifes before coming trying to put me down. Woudnt change my life for anyones, i do exactly what i want to do and how many people dare to do that that doesnt only live their quiet lifes but they really would like to go spend 50.000 at a stripclub then fuck with to hot girls, i mean im living life as i like it her and now, now im more down im not so out there in the clubs and stuff but its because i want to wait to work til i have make my breast ts no pint starting before and after i want to go to LA and work there, after las vegas and after spain to kick back and chill wtth my fortune ive hopefuly made but im a surviver they caled me sunflower in the rehab because that flower is a weed and grows up from concreet i mean thats a pretty fuking good complement. But you know i give a shit about people hating when i have some people liking me at least you weigh up the negative bullshit 100% and your fucking loyal I swear I LOVE YOY and hope i could meet you all my babes. I am in a good mood today have arranged my room connected my tv and leaned and washing clothes, has four machines on right now, fuck its a lot man haha, but its nice when its done.
Cant believe they put me out on monday.. fuck .. I putted video out in the end of text for you.. getting fucked from behind
Im Out On Monday, Going Crayy
I cant believe they going to write mmme out of here just like that ive been here 3 weeks the others 1,5 year its no fare. But im not going quietley.
this is how i fell
Wish I’d take it easy
On myself sometimes
‘Cause I’m barely sleeping
I need a break from myself, yeah
My mind is always working
Brain overload
One thing I know for certain
I need a break from myself, yeahThey tell me to relax but I’m all up in my feelings
So crowded in my head, I need some space
Now I’m in therapy so I can talk about my feelings
My issues’ still the same so what a waste
Wish I could get rid of all the stress inside my body
Not compare myself to everybody else
‘Cause I’m a fucking mess, and I’m bursting at the seams
I’ve tried everything but nothing really helpsI think I might be going crazy
I think I might have lost it lately
I sugarcoat it, trust me, baby
I think I might be, I think I might be
I think I might be going crazy
I think I might have lost it lately
I sugarcoat it, trust me, baby
I think I might be, I think I might beThese days, I feel like somebody else
When I look in the mirror
I don’t recognize myself, no
My friends, they’re worried
I don’t call no more
Got so much shit to tell them
I’ve been too busy lately, that’s for sureThey tell me to relax but I’m all up in my feelings
So crowded in my head, I need some space
Now I’m in therapy so I can talk about my feelings
My issues’ still the same so what a waste
Wish I could get rid of all the stress inside my body
Not compare myself to everybody else
‘Cause I’m a fucking mess, and I’m bursting at the seams
I’ve tried everything but nothing really helpsI think I might be going crazy
I should put them to rest but they’re so loud
I think I’m going insane, yeah, there’s no doubt
But they don’t know, they don’t know
I’m on the edge but I won’t let it break me
I’m so tired, oh, my knees they’re shaking
I’m really fightin’ ’cause this can’t be healthy
They don’t know, they don’t knowI think I might be going crazy
Going live now like a live blog thing
Kisses
Treatment, and institution
I been Ib institutions for sig years totally so it’s normal that when I get locked inside only for three weeks. My brain go in the mood institution damaged. And I get scared for coming out to manage all by myself. Can I handle that? Will I fall back? I know if I go sundhomen I will go back to putting shut in my veins. Slowly but fast killing myself. Because I already feel like maybe I should go there one last time and take the last fiks it’s only that it’s been the last time for 500.000 times ago now. Every dayi say the same do the same. So I can feel better doing it because it’s the last one… Fucking eyyy, I have to many people who needs revenge for their actions. What comes around goes around.
Now they want to write me out of here tomorrow I will go crazy. I need to have a plan for coming out not just going out to the street or subdholmen. I need to get away. And here I’m free as a bird at the same time I’m locked in. Does it make sense? It’s a quiet place were you just goes around waTching TV, going out smoking on the big terasse, watching Netflix movie. When it’s medicine time they come to you with the pills, when it’s food you only go to the dining room and take a plate and eat from the delicious buffe. Everything is for free. When you go shower you take clean clothes from a cabinet and two towels. The dirty you throw in a washing basket. You don’t do dishes. Wash clothes, you Have time to heal. Eat good, sleep good, beome healthy. I workout everyday as well and it’s going really good. I got My pms today and I have not have that for 8-10 years. And then they want to kick me out so I shall fall back again or what? I don’t want to I want to be more stronger and stabilized as possible. I love you guys. Sorry for a boring blog posts. You cannot always be on top ? but hey yesterday I had 450 visitor’s something. Nice I had 800 one day it was ? cool. But 400 is not bad. But please join my community and comment so I know if I do something wrong, good or bad. Now I need to smash my Ritalin to powder so it can fly up my cute Little nose . See you at 23.00 live from Nikkideep.com
Wieeeeeeeeeeeeee
What to do when your heart is split
I want to take lines of cocaine the good stuff flick coke. Mmh then get Brutally fucked suck dick. I love sucking because im good at it. Really its nothing i just say. Im famous for my blow jobs therefore nikki Deep as in Deep throat. I gag and spit on that cock. Til you cant hold yourself from throwing men on the bed goving me that cock. Fucking me like you own me. That’s what I like. It should be hardcove. And the man shall show he is a man. If you catch me and we click i wil do anything for you. Blow you in the train, plain wherever. Fuck in public toilet’s. Ive done it all. Threesome with a girl an old friend every night we went out we found a guy with cash paying us for a double fuck. Vanilla and chocolate. Because she was black. But very beautiful and light skinned. Im sad that she needed to fuck my guy i was hocking up with just because she was jealous of me having a guy in the hell’s angel’s giving me free coke offer me an appartment and stuff. I was seriously in to him and she got kicked out of the ckub because she couldn’t behave, she got sprayed with tear gas. Haha so fucked up but she still didn’t leave. So me and the guy that was sitting upstairs needed to come down to the four guys that was there but couldn’t get her out everytime they locked her out she was so skinny she could just slide threw the fence. So they needed to come get us. And we talked her calm and asked her to go home. Called a cab. And after that I really did everything to get them to change their mind on her. And she gets a new chance so she gets naked it was her a guy me and my guy. And she lays there calling on me and on my guy. What about the guy she was with. Fucking bitch. If course he couldnt resist. I got sad and left. In the evening on work later. Maxim bar aalborg she asked if i was mad. I asked if they fuxked she answers ofcourse we did. What the fuck ofcourse i fucked him ai what. Amd after she was going on stage ahe fucking danced to ” fuck your girlfriend you know it’s worth it” i wanted to run away. But i did my shift finnish then i packed my stuff and never came back. Now I have no idea where she works or lives probabky still in aalborg. I want to come back there again and work. Ir just for fun. Go to the clubhouse and party find one of his friend’s looming good to fuck me hard as fuck so he can hear me scream. Paybacks a bitch. Coming back to bite you in the ass. So watch out all you bitches and hoes that have raped, beat physically tortured me, physically tortured me, putting a hit on me fucking my man, kilking my dog. Fuxking up everything in my life. The thing is i never did anything to deserve this. Fge opposite i always need to help people and try to be nice ending up getting fucked. But niw i focus on right now. And I need to call some people. Botay call haha. Nikkis getting dick today. I love you all guys and im fucking happy I don’t get all these negative comments because I’m Brutally honest so many people gets annoyed and i don’t know why I just want to be real and give you a piece of myself. And i don’t judge you always give people a chance. I want people to be happy be themselves and all you are is beautiful and u special ass you are and I want to inspire people to be themselves and do what they want without thinking about other’s. If you want to go to Beverly Hills and be a housewife go for it. If u wanna do your breasts bigger do it if you feel beter about yourself . Do anything you like look at me i want to do liposuction now to put fat in ny ass from my hips stomach and thies. I need to take new pictures to send them so i can get a price. Maybe i do tgat today’. And i have sent i the application about getting to rent the apartment out. If i succeed I will get 21 000 straight away for three months and I can save some clothes , shoes and things in my apartment. Because if i dont do it it costs around 25-50.000 andd then it’s even whiteout furniture. I can’t lose all i own again I go crazy. So just cleanse the shit and ìn a storage far away from that apartment. I will be so happy. Ok i need to drink water now. Trying to be healthy working out learning to go split learning twerking ballhouse dance, wining, shaking grinding. Its fun and ofcourse I have a work out schedule i follow and I been doing it six day’s now. And im proud of myself. Thanks for reading hope it gave you a little time away from the harsh reality. Kisses Nikki Deep
More
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- hottass
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- my round tits n blonde long hair and tanned body, making that dolla bills in the clubs, shaking that ass
